No Decisions.

Mon, May 14, 2007

I know I haven’t updated in a little while, and I promise its not my fault! Its funny how things work out…this whole blog thing started out as one of the worst punishments I’ve ever undergone - I hate having to think…I never did good in school because I hate the idea of using my brain, planning and scheduling and stress…fuck that! Thats why I love being a slave - no decisions. And yet there I sit each day pining to go update my blog! I’ll be honest I did hate it at first, but I suppose that one of the most basic human necessities (the need to communicate) is stronger than I had originally thought. I haven’t been allowed to utter a word in a very long time, Master says its been about 9 months now - I really don’t even remember what it feels like to speak with my mouth.

This blog has really allowed me to at least even in a very mundane way to communicate, to release something from my brain. It’s insane how things get jumbled up, even the most simplest things if you don’t put it down on paper or communicate it. I’ve had thoughts swirling around in my head with no outside opinion or objective point of view for so long now I don’t even remember if what I think now is even close to what I originally thought. It’s confusing - especially for a dumb animal like myself.

Needless to say, I’ve been a busy slave - and what started out as Master’s punishment has turned into one of my great pleasures - this blog. I love to search for other stuff related to my lifestyle which is why I love sharing it with all of my readers! I never would’ve thought that a slave, something considered even lower than an animal would have readers!!!. It’s such an amazing concept to me.

Master has been talking about acquiring another slave. I almost wish I could feel jealous, I crave some feeling - but I’ve become so docile, and well trained mentally, as well as physically…Master’s will controls me so thourougly that his desire for another slave is as normal as any other. The only thing I really feel is the desire to act better, and be better so that Master doesn’t require another slave, I feel sad that I’m not good enough. Either way its out of my hands one way or the other.

I’ll try and look around for some neat stuff for you to look at next time, when Master allows me a little bit more time :)